I backed out of the backyard into the alley this morning — naturally, we’re parking out back these days — and was detoured when I got to the end of the alley by Morgan Park Place construction blocking my normal route out to I-65. So I didn’t drive by the front of our house, as I like to do each morning.

Ten minutes later, I got a call from Karsten asking if I’d driven by the front of the house this morning. Strange that he should ask, I thought. No, why?

Well, apparently, someone nicked seven boxwoods from our front yard garden.

Let me just repeat that. Some clever burglar determined it worth his or her while to yank boxwood shrubs out of our garden. Small ones! I mean, have you seen our garden? I’m definitely not claiming it’s the most splendorous garden in all of the South or anything, but it’s got some pretty nice plants in it. The underwhelming hedge we’ve been attempting to grow with a bunch of young boxwood plants is pretty much the least appealing thing in the yard. And this wasn’t just a random act of boredom — someone took the time to grab seven of these things.

Now of course after explaining all of that, I’ll admit that I’m now dreading the disappearance of nicer plants in the garden — they’re sure to be the next to go.

Karsten and I have been told by folks who’ve lived in the neighborhood for a while that plant thefts used to be more common when some vendors at the Farmer’s Market used to buy plants from folks off the street to resell them, no questions asked. We’ve heard that this practice has been discontinued, so I have no idea what the boxwood thief is planning to do with the young shrubs. By ripping them out of the ground as he or she apparently did, the thief probably shocked them enough that they won’t do well when replanted (especially since pretty much all vegetation is still in recovery mode from the Great Easter Freeze), so if the idea was to plant the boxwoods, it’s not likely to be a happy outcome. Maybe I’m mean-spirited, but somehow that makes me feel a little better.

Also worth noting is that, a few weeks ago, someone apparently stole a young but still pretty large tree from the front yard of the house next door (which is for sale — the missing tree was noticed about an hour before they were having an open house). Earlier that day, I’d seen a guy riding by on a bike carrying a shovel. Not to say that’s related, but it could be. Apparently it wouldn’t be the first plant theft in the neighborhood involving a getaway bike, believe it or not.

We were already planning to install a period-appropriate iron hoop-and-spear fence, but all this makes me want to get right on it. (We already have enough motivation because of the bird feeders that keep getting stolen.) Karsten’s calling the guy today to see when we could get started.

I can’t think of a subject stupid enough

17 thoughts on “I can’t think of a subject stupid enough

  • April 26, 2007 at 11:16 am
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    God, what a way to harsh your love for your neighbourhood, eh? So not fair.

    -J

    Reply
  • April 26, 2007 at 11:20 am
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    Can you rent a large snarling Doberman? Or I could send Freckles out; he *loves* to bay at strangers and he’s very fond of cats.

    *sigh*

    Some people’s children.

    Reply
  • April 26, 2007 at 11:21 am
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    NUH UH!

    I’d put out some razor blades in strategic areas around your other plants. You risk retaliation, but…

    I wonder if they have plant alarms for this kind of thing…

    Reply
  • April 26, 2007 at 12:10 pm
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    My sympathy. Someone stole a forsythia bush from the front yard of our house, the night of the day I planted it. 15 years later, it STILL rankles!

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  • April 26, 2007 at 12:32 pm
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    How lame! Its sad that everything in your yard needs to be bolted down.

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  • April 26, 2007 at 12:33 pm
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    I don’t know if you’ve set up any security on your house, but I’d recommend lights that are light and motion sensitive and X-10 cameras set up to record and triggered by motion.

    I wanted to set up some motion tracking fake guns on the front of my house with laser pointers, but I think the cops would get unhappy with me.

    Reply
  • April 26, 2007 at 12:46 pm
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    We’ve had stupid things taken from/done to our property – like someone opening the back fence gate for no reason but to let the dog loose (added a padlock), our UPS packages have been stolen off the porch (have to pick them up at the customer center now), and our cars rifled through numerous times.

    Regardless, these things make you feel violated. I can only imagine how ticked you are about your bushes – and boxwoods aren’t cheap, either! I hope you can get your fence up soon, if for nothing else but your peace of mind.

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  • April 26, 2007 at 2:00 pm
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    Dang! Maybe you ought to look into getting a LoJack for your new iron fence…I bet they’d figure out a way to take it, too.

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  • April 26, 2007 at 2:18 pm
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    Seriously. WTF?

    Yet it continues to happen to you.

    Again. Seriously. WTF?

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  • April 26, 2007 at 4:02 pm
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    “So tell me why you are here.”

    “I killed six millions Jews.”

    “Why are you here?”

    “I lifted seven boxwoods scrubs.”

    – WonderDawg

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  • April 26, 2007 at 4:04 pm
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    shrubs! shrubs!

    I’m a little ticked off that I can’t even spell…

    – WonderDawg

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  • April 26, 2007 at 4:14 pm
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    “so if the idea was to plant the boxwoods, it’s not likely to be a happy outcome. Maybe I’m mean-spirited”

    Not at all. I hope the shrubs die right off when they try to plant them. Serves ’em right.

    That’s just unreal. I don’t have any kind of decent plantage anyway but I’d never in my life have thought it needed burglary protection! I’m sure that probably happens in my neighborhood too tho with people that do have nice stuff.

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  • April 26, 2007 at 10:08 pm
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    A friend had the same problem with heavy flower pots – so she glued broken glass on the bottoms…
    WonderDawg

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  • April 27, 2007 at 9:08 am
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    People will steal anything these days, huh?

    I love the fencing (loop & spear) idea. Very nice.

    Malia

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  • May 1, 2007 at 2:35 pm
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    >I have no idea what the boxwood thief is planning to do with the young shrubs

    Clearly, it’s to appease The Knights Who Say “Ni”…

    Reply
  • May 1, 2007 at 7:00 pm
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    Would you be amused to know that you and our VP of Marketing made the same joke?

    Welcome back from SF. Was it hard to leave?

    Reply
  • May 1, 2007 at 8:33 pm
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    Oh dear. Amused? I don’t know. Frightened maybe 🙂

    Yup, it was definitely hard to leave. Even just as a tourist I think I needed another month there to see everything I wanted to see. I could definitely be talked into moving there. Hee, I have this crazy vision of living in a Chinatown tenement house and going to work in the fortune cookie factory. But then I have strange fantasies like that sometimes that probably wouldn’t be as fun as they sound 🙂

    Reply

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