It’s simple, it’s charming, it’s clearly Emo’s voice (even if Emo himself didn’t write it, which for the sake of demonstrating his marketing prowess I kind of hope he didn’t), and it pays attention to all the little details. Even the unsubscribe link at the bottom.
From: Emo Philips
Date: December 4, 2009 4:32:14 PM CST
Subject: A nice message from Emo Philips
Although digital downloads are the wave of the present, giving someone a CD is still the best way to say, “Here is a CD.”
My own CD combines, in their entirety, my first two record albums: “E=MO Squared,” and “Emo Philips Live at the Hasty Pudding Theater.”
O’er 1.347 hours of pure Emophilia… for just $9.98.
It makes a great stocking stuffer, if one of your legs is short.
It is also profanity-free… not including, of course, what might come from you as you attempt to unwrap it.
If you’re near a computer, you can peruse the eighteen track titles, or actually place an order if you’re in the spirit, at
(Or you can visit www.emophilips.com and gently click where it says CD.)
If you’re an early riser, between 9 AM and 2:30 PM Eastern time you can also order by phone, at 1-888-359-1111.
The ordering deadline, to get it to your home in time for Christmas, is December 14 within these United States, and December 6 to beat Santa (or his disturbingly weird equivalent) anywhere else.
The shipping cost, for one, two, three or four, is $4.97 to anywhere in America, $10.50 to our friendly neighbor to the north, and $12.50 to a more exotic clime.
Well, that’s about it, I guess. Thank you very much for reading this… and, of course, for being my friend.
Wishing you the happiest holiday season an adult can have,
Your Eternal Slave to Mirth-Purveying,
PS I’ll be back in ’10!
Please do not reply. The address from which this e-mail emanated is unmonitored. You might as well write to a blender. Yet despair not! For you can contact me:
1) electrically, via MySpace (http://myspace.com/emophilips), or
2) postally, at Emo Philips, PO Box 10130, Glendale, CA 91209, or
3) fleshily, by waiting for me in the alley after one of my shows.
To be painlessly (except for my pain… did you ever stop to consider that?) excised from this proximity alert list, please visit (Lord, how this hurts!)