First, the Dad update: well, there’s not much new to say, actually. He’s been exhibiting the signs of active death for weeks now, such as picking at his bedclothes, reaching out into the empty air in front of him, increased apnea (up to 20 and sometimes almost 30 seconds between breaths), and, of course, the loss of control of his urine and bowels. No one knows what to do besides wait, keep him as comfortable as possible, and try not to go mad. I don’t mean to sound flippant about all of this; it’s just that I’m starting to be a little numb through all the strain and anxiety. Believe me, I’m still processing what’s really happening, and it breaks my heart into pieces. I just can’t spend all my time that way.
OK. Second update: I bought a new laptop, and it’s an Apple PowerBook! I hope some of my friends will be proud to have helped influence my conversion (, I’m a-lookin’ your way). I’m pleased as punch. I made the leap after realizing a few things: one, I do a lot of songwriting in places like cafes and libraries, and I’ve been trying to use either a paper notebook or my Treo 650 to capture the writing (I try not to use my work-issued laptop for personal stuff — a lesson learned from years of fairly abrupt job departures). The paper and Treo each have shortcomings for this type of use, and those shortcomings are a hindrance to productivity. I also finally bought myself MasterWriter software (I’m an ASCAP member, so I got a decent discount) to use on it. Anyway, there are dozens of other justifications and rationalizations, and one happy bonus is that, while we’re away from home, Karsten and I will be able to watch DVDs on it in the hotel room. It should be arriving today. Yay!
Mike really gets a lot of use out of the watching-DVDs-in-hotels feature – especially when he travels to tiny towns where there’s nothing to do and crappy cable.
Sending good vibes for your dad and family…
I’m very glad to hear that you *know* you can’t — and shouldn’t try to — spend all your time thinking about your father and your grief. There can often be a lot of guilt about that sort of thing, but it’s the only way to keep yourself sane.
Congratulations on the new “baby”! 🙂 The PowerBook completely rocks. I love mine, and the new ones are even better.
-J
It sounds like you’re keeping tabs on and taking care of yourself. Good.
And congrats on the Powerbook. I love mine!
Glad to hear someone else considers it a real perk and not just a frivolous feature. 😉
Thanks, J.
And thanks! I’m psyched. 🙂
Thanks!
Yay for new computer! I love my powerbook. Not having personal stuff on the work computer is a wise, wise habit.
Glad you’re being good to yourself.
Powerbooks are lovely, aren’t they? I have an iBook myself, which is a little less powerful but still a sweet piece of hardware.
*hugs* to you for the stress of dealing with your father.
sorry about the dad update, congrats on the Powerbook —
Hey I’m going to be in your town next spring March 12–15 at the Gaylord Opryland convention center for a confrence — might come in a bit early for visiting/sighseeing if you all are up for it
It’s possible! Keep me posted as it gets closer. 🙂